i'm hopeless but at least i know this

while cleaning out some of my school stuff i can across a bunch of magazine clippings that i had saved...one of them was about relationships - good ones, negative ones, draining ones - and when i read over it a realized that a lot of what they were saying i could apply to relationships i had/have, with both friends and boyfriends

the part about negative relationships was what caught my eye the most...it said that a negavtive relationship is when you are not being true to yourself and it results in unbearable stress...wishful thinking that leads to frustration, which leads to anger and if that anger is not expressed and is kept inside then it manifests into depression

this, i can attest to, is true...and it is the worst feeling in the world...you want to believe that this relationship you are in is worth something and something good will come out of it, but time and time again through expectations you become disappointed and begin to question everything

i myself personally hate to fight or cause pain, so i would rather just shut up about the way i feel and deal with it myself so that i don't have to argue or put things in jeopardy...but this has resulted in many restless nights just constantly going over things in my head and not being able to sleep...and i cant stand it anymore

i never regret anything that i did because regret is a waste of time...whether you see it now or not everything happens for a reason and so every experience that you have was meant to happen...the important thing is that you learn from these experience and you in trun realize their value...no matter how bad or good, the lessons you learn for the experiences you have mold you into who you are...so thank the people that made you cry, laugh, sad, smile beacuse with out them you wouldn't be you...

life is all about the experience...go out and do something bad, something that scares you, something you never thought you would do...and then sit and think about what you learned, about yourself and about life...don't sit and worry about it...just let it be