For so long I've been hindered, For so long I've been stalled.

id like to begin by saying that youre hot and if i was 89 years younger i would have stolen you away from your man at the concert

HAHAHAHA…you are too cute…older men are sexy tony…dont you know that??

then im super sexy cuz im super olde so did you like Stiff you can be honest

i loved it…read it twice and could read it 100 times more

ahahaha good

im not a big reader and find that a lot of books bore the hell out of me...but i just fell in love with stiff

ok

thanks

what did you like so much about it, i will make sure to do it again

humm...i just found the whole story really interesting...the whole idea of you dying and all these things that happened to you...wasnt what i expected...it was bizzare but in a way totally believeable

great

well i wrote those stories during my 15 minute government mandated breaks at work

i had just been transfered to a new department at E! and i knew id be fired

so i was scared

i was also scared that i wouldnt have any time to blog at work because it was a really busy department

and i thought i would hate the job

so i just said fuck it, i will die

why kurt

im an old man

when i was your age kurt was just coming up

and i was on college radio

so i was really close to grunge and all that

i saw him come and go

similarily im extremely religious

so i always feared that he wouldnt get to go to Heaven since he killed himself

so i wanted to show somehow that he wasnt in Hell

i liked that you did that...its nice to know that kurt could be in heaven...

so you are extremely religious...catholic or christian?

i was raised catholic but as soon as i finished reading the Bible all the way through for the first time, i was all wtf

there was no mention of popes

or nuns

or confession

or priests being celebate

reading the bible made me believe that Catholicism is a joke

so i became simply Christian

ive never read the whole bible...but sometimes i question being catholic...it sometimes seems sketchy to me

the only reason i liked going to Catholic church was it was like a For Dummies experience
you knelt when they told you to
you stood when they told you to

but there was no soul there
i was happy to be in a church, but there was no magic feeling going through the ritual

when i was in college i wanted more

i totally agree with you

sometimes i feel as if i only go b/c i have done so since i was born...but not beacuse i actually want to be there

i think its ok to go, but i still havent found a church that is what i want it to be
maybe i have to make my own
but it would be boring
we would just talk alot about the bible
and sing bob dylan songs

hahah that would be a pretty sweet church

when my mom read your book...she didnt know if you were actually making fun of catholics or if you were one

i dont think its fair to make fun of peoples faith

but in ridiculing the Catholics, im dissing the church, not thebeliefs

the structure, the anti-biblical behavior, not the root which is Jesus is God

im totally on the same page as you

good lets make out

haha...ok
in the book you mention the xbi...what is that?

when i first started writing the busblog i didnt want people to know that i worked at E!
so i told them that i worked for an undercover agency that was a cross between the cia and the fbi

and because the busblog could be true, maybe i still work there

the xbi are rejects from the marines and the fbi

but they still want to fight crime

my job was to work at a communications base

thus, a tv network was assigned to me

i also flew a helicopter

chopper one

but the problem with the xbi was there were a lot of bad apples there

because we made our money by stealing from the criminals

so if you heard about cops "finding 100 bags of cocaine"

odds are there were 150 bags

and the xbi took their cut

so the early days of the busblog is about me in that struggle of trying to be good but in this corrupt organization

which is why i rode the bus
because i didnt want to flaunt my riches
since they were ill gotten

wow...thats crazy...never knew that

i might re-release Blook, the first book from the busblog

because a lot of people are like you, new to the busblog

many older readers dont like that i dont talk about the xbi
but i stopped because too many people said they hated the xbi stories since they thought they were fake

i was all,ok...
which is why i love Stiff because right when you think its not about the xbi i fucking get you in the end

and explain that allof this was really the very begining of it

your sosmart...that was cleaver to add it in stiff

how did y ou come up with the regret throne?

E! stressed me out to no end

i shaved my hair there

i gained 15 pounds

and my only escape from my horrible boss was either blogging or going to the bathroom

so when i came out of the bathroom i thought about the regret throne

and as a recovering Catholic i have many things to feel guilty about and to regret

so all of that came very naturally

why do you think thats you are going to hell tho?

many reasons

i love porn

i love "devil music"

i hate a lot of people

when im in relationships i can turn into a bad boy
which can be sexy for the right girls
but i dont think thats what God wants

who knows
and i feel like im a huge slacker
which is why i identify with the GenX deal
and i think God hates that

yea but we all have these tendencies...so does that mean we are all going to hell???

im sure you have done lots of good stuff in your life

ive done Some good stuff
like i think im a good blogger, and i think God likes that part of me

but i think He looks down and winces and says, fucking Awe gave him all these talents and this is all hes gonna do with it?

im pretty sure im supposed to be a preacher

but no way could i do that full time

in a perfect world id have 8 wives and direct porn

haha

but you are a preacher in a way

you wrote stiff and its about religion
and you are talking to me about it

yes, thats why i would sing dylan songs in my church

if you listen to Saved

or Shot of Love

or Infidels
dylan is able to be spiritual without being heavy handed

i think thats the trick of any form of communication

particularily the tricky subject of Jesus

sooo true

i personally dont like people a that are all preachy and praise the lord every 5 seconds...like those tv shows or when they have services on tv

thats just not what i like...but i think when you can be spiritual in a respective way but not heavy handed as you mentioned then that is perfect

like johnny cash

i love johnny

i love johnny

did you like any of the poems, or should i have kept those out?

no i did like them

great

the best virgin marys was my fav

that was about jeanine

whos that

let me show you

ok

jeanine was super shy in college
she worked at the newspaper with all my friends

she was new, had super long hair

extremely shy

so we had a few dates, they turned out horrible

then one day she came over to give me guitar lessons because i had given up on her romantically but i knew she could play guitar

when she started playing she opened up

and i saw her heart

two weeks later i gave her two hits of lsd

a huge 6 foot bong load
nitrous oxide
and beer
it dazed her long enough for me to kiss her
we lasted two years

aww thats so cute...you guys totally look cute

shes mostly italian

shes totally cute

she was cute then, shes super sexy now

i love her hair

totally

chris...you talk about him in the book...you give him everything

chris is a girl

she was my longest girlfriend

and in many ways my soul mate

funny thing about soul mates, they dont always end up being naked with you every night

life is weird

why didnt you ever marry any of them?

they never said yes

i asked them every day

dozens of times a day

i think God wanted me to make out with young girls from all over the world, maybe
who knows

haha maybe!

how come the chicks in hell look like men

Good Question!!!!
mostly cuz its Hell and youre not supposed to be happy
or turned on
youre supposed to be miserable, technically
so you cant have like sexy nurses in high heels clomping around

thus, ugly mannish women

my mom thinks it was b.c you were questioning your sexuality

nah

my sexuality was pretty well covered during my fall from heaven to hell

when the two angels quiz me as im falling

demanding that i was gay

insisting

im the most ungay man alive

heres how you know someones not gay

ask them if they would do fat chicks

or ugly chicks

or sorority girls

its like fat people LOVE food of all sorts

similarily non gay men Love women of all sorts

its the dudes who only make out with runway models who are probably secretly gay

so you would make out with anyone

i could

why not

i would eat anything at mcdonalds too

i love people

people can be crazy

just another reason to love them

why do people in hell wear burberry

i love burberry

i dont remember that part

what page are you on?

107

ah

burberry is fine in moderation

but a whole square block of people all wearing that is a horrible sight

but the plaid...its so beautiful
im clearly obsessed with it

about 20 of my friends all went to spain during the milenium

1/1/00

no one told me that it was fucking freezing in madrid in january

so i needed a scarf and gloves

the spanish had cool burberry scarves

they hadnt hit america yet

i was sold

but Chris, who i was just about to break up with said, no thats gay

thats for girls

but i thought on a man in a black leather coat it would look super slick

so i liked it

but if everyones wearing it, it would get gross

yea i guess thats true...same thing does for those stupid louis vitton bags

i want that pattern for my car interior

thats gonna be some expensive car interior

counterfeit patterns are cheap

i love that you had kurt singing tsar tunes...i was waiting to see if you would write about them

kurt would love tsar

do youhave band girls money?

i went to buy it at a&b sound a couple weeks back but they didnt have it

tsar has the worst luck

i could probably order it from them

i should check that out

(ebay)

will do

ok one poem question and then to bed

ok

fuck

whats it about

fuck is in there?

yes it is

i have the worst memory

haha

fuck was written the day after a wild acid trip

have you done acid?

nope

shrooms?

nope

well if you ever do, do it in the woods

with friends

stay away from cars

and cops

ok...i'll mental note that

anyways

when i was on it i was always trying to find The Answer

everything meant things

everything was super symbolic

there needed to be an end to every thought

which is ironic because that goes against the nature of acid

your thoughts reeeeeeeeeallly wander

but at the end of the trip in the morning we were still awake

and the sun was rising

and it all made sense

i was sitting on those cliffs

its so beautiful

its unreal

and yes, the answer was

fuuuuuuuuuuuck

excellent

you live in a beautiful place

lived

that is isla vista

just north of santa barbara

YOU live in a beautiful place

it is amazing here

i fell in love with vancouver

and i didnt even get to smoke the weed

i know

its hard not to fall in love with this place

MUSIC - Bob Dylan - Saved