Whip-crack went his Whoopy tail

I said Good-Bye to my dear Husband this morning as he caught a cab to the airport off on another work adventure. I hope hes got the proper attired for brisk cold Ottawa. If not its not my fault. He doesn't own anything to combat frigid temperatures.

Hes left me many times before and for much longer periods of time. The only thing that will be weird about this is not having him there when I go to sleep and wake up in the morning. Alas, I am sure I will survive. Especially if he promises to come back with handfuls of gifts for yours truly.

I have been up since 6 and ended up coming to work half an hour early because I felt like it.

Right, so I went to el Doctors yesterday for my yearly check up dealio. I seem to be quite the healthy young whipper snapper, aside from my lumpy throat and ridiculous right breast. I had blood work done to check my thyroid and subsequent organs and all the results came back fine, as I predicted, so everyone can calm down. I'm not dying of some crazy thyroid disease. I go for an ultrasound this afternoon for the lump. The Dr. says that the results of said ultrasound should give him an indication of how to proceed with it.

Before I left his office yesterday he asked if there was anything else I wanted him to check out. I mentioned the cysts that I have on my right boob that I had checked by his assistant last year. At the time I was told that there was nothing I could do about them. They would grow and they would shrink and because they weren't cancerous they won't remove them. The one that's on the side doesn't hurt and I rarely ever notice it but the one on the top is the most annoying thing in the world. Because it rests against my chest wall /ribs you can see it protrude. It is the ugliest thing in the world and it hurts all the time. So I expressed my extreme frustration with it and asked if there was anything he could do about it.

(PatZ stop reading here or you will faint)

He took a look and saw how awkwardly positioned it was and the pain it caused me so he suggest draining it. I was all for this. So he grabs this honking needle, hold the area where the cyst is and with out any local anesthetic or anything plunges the son of a slut right in. Now I have a very high tolerance for pain, but sweet Jesus that friggin hurt. Anyways, hes swinging at me butcher style but the cyst isn't draining. So he pulls it out positions himself differently, and goes in for more, this time digging it in for one last ditch effort after hes already stabbed it in. How I survived is unknown.

So I'm laying there, cringing in pain and the bloody cyst will not drain. He asked if I wanted him to try one more time to which I replied, No Thank You. So after several attempts to drain the bane of my existence I lay there with holes in my boob which are now pouring out blood and nothing has been solved. Awesome.

His exact words were - "Well this guy is very Tenacious . Haha Tenacious D"

I was very light hearted about it all. I mean its not really his fault that my cyst is the spawn of Satan and doesn't want to die. Plus, I technically ASKED to be stabbed repeatedly.

Hes referring me to a Specialist of some sort who will be able to take a look at the lump on my throat and the cyst on my boob which, he said, will then be removed by another stabbing attempt or possibly cutting the damn thing out. I will pretty much do whatever I have to, to get rid of this thing, that's how much it bothers me. Bring on the pain bitches! The only thing I do hope is that the lump on my throat doesn't have to be removed so I don't have a giant scar across my neck.

Now you are up to date on my physical health.

You are welcome.