i think im going to have to kick your ass

Omg so I have to tell you this story cause I'm all fluster over it.

So I go over to where Matt works to pick up a fabric swatch. The main parking lot is full and I didn't want to go over to the other parking lot because its farther away and since Matt was just dropping it off to me I didn't want him to come searching for me.

Anyways, I see this spot on the edge and I park there facing the building so Matt will see me. I call him and let him know I am there and he tells me hes on his way down.

So I'm sitting there waiting and this lady walks by staring at me. She comes up to my window. I roll it down and she asks me what I am doing there. I tell her my friend works in the building and hes bringing me something so I was just waiting. She asks again, "this building?". I say "yes, this building". She goes on to say that this spot is reserved for some architect company that's in the building. I say OK, I'm just waiting for my friend, hes on his way down, I'll be a second.

She says OK and walks off.

I then see her walk back and talk to this older man. He then comes over to me and knocks on my window.

He asks me what I am doing. I AGAIN say my friend works in the building and I am just waiting for him. He say 'Does he work in the architect part?' I say, I dunno, no, I just know he works in the building. He then proceeds to tell me that he is the architect and so its obviously not him I am waiting for. (No shit I never said I was waiting for you!) I start to get annoyed so I said again that someone has already asked me what I am doing here and I'm just waiting here and will be gone in three seconds.

Then Mr. Pompous ass says 'well I'll have you know that I pay good money for this parking spot and I don't want just anyone parking there'.

Well now I'm pissed.

I said to him again, "Seriously, I'M JUST WAITING FOR SOMEONE AND WILL BE GONE IN 3 SECONDS."I mean I'm clearly IN my car so its not like I'm parking here and taking off. PLUS he had the whole row reserved (which I didn't see till after cause its painted on the ground) so how does he know I'm NOT waiting for someone in his office. Shit.

He continues to carry on and I say for the millionth time, "I'm waiting for my friend and will be gone in three seconds" and roll up my window. He looks at me and walks away.

One second later Matt shows up, drops off the fabric and I leave.

WOW OMG A WHOLE FIVE MINUTES SPENT IN YOUR PARKING SPOT ASS HAT.

What really pissed me off what that this chick who originally asked me what I was doing went and 'finked' on me for waiting there. Who the hell are you the parking police? And how the hell do you know I'm not meeting someone in the 'Architects Building'. SERIOUSLY. Had I just parked my car there and left would she have even questioned it!? PROB NOT. And it also wasn't like I had parked in the actual owners spot either because after he came to talk to me he went to his car, which was already parked across the ways. It was there BEFORE I got there meaning I wasn't in his spot.

I have never actually bitched back at someone before, I usually just freeze and apologize at the prospect of being wrong, but this was retarded. I hate the people at Matt's building, that are so pretentious (except for Matt of course).

IM SO IN A RAGE. GAWD.

worry wort

When I was a kid I had this defense mechanism where if I didn't want to deal with some thing I would worry myself to the point where my stomach would twist and turn and feel horrible and I would eventually puke. I would make the excuse that I didn't feel well and would pass the parental test and be able to stay home from school, therefore not having to deal with whatever it was I wanted to avoid.

At first I didn't realize this 'gift' that I had, I just really thought I was sick. It wasn't until grade two that I realized what I was actually doing. I remember the situation specifically (because as you know I have this other gift for remembering specific events in immense detail).

When I was in preschool my best friend was a boy named Leigh. We did everything together. We even 'liked' one another and thought of each other as boyfriend and girlfriend at the ripe old age of 4. I remember one time we got all these cardboard boxes in class to build castles with and play with. Leigh and I ended up hiding in them and kissing. It was so exciting! I was such a floosy.

We ended up going to the same elementary school as well and carried on our 'love affair' on and off through out the years. I went to his house to play one Saturday and his mom made us grilled cheese sandwiches. It was so cute. For valentines day one year he came over to my house and gave me a pack of pink bubble gum. When we took skating lessons with school we would hold hands and skate around the rink. When the Canucks went to the Stanley Cup Finals and Vancouver had a big fan appreciation day we skipped school and went down there together. It was all very sweet and innocent.

In grade two I was having trouble in school when it came to learning Hooked on Phonix. I hated it. I couldn't spell, I couldn't put sentences together, I would just memorize how stuff sounded and then would write it out. I didn't actually understand how it all went together. (I still don't for that matter). I would get very frustrated when it came time to work on it in class and my teacher was horrible and would never explain it to me. The only time I would understand what was going on was when I would bring it home for homework and my dad would help me with it. I remember one time being in class trying to do my work and eventually coming to the point of tears because I felt so stupid for not understanding. I told my teacher I wanted to take my work home so my dad could help me because I didn't understand it, she just got mad and me and told me I couldn't do that and had to do it in class. I was so upset.

It then got to the point where I would worry about it so much that I would make myself sick and would get to stay home from school, with the ability to do my work at home. Bonus! I could get my dad to help me and I didn't have to go to school to do it. This made me happy.

But eventually I couldn't fake being sick anymore just to be able to do my work at home, so I had to face doing it at school.

The next bout of 'sickness' happened not to far after that. For some reason I could never remember what started it, if their was an initial incident or something that brought it on, I only remember the reason for being sick.

For some reason I was deathly afraid that Leigh would tell the whole class that we use to kiss in cardboard boxes in preschool, and I felt so embarrassed by it. I was fearful that if he told them they would all make fun of me and not like me, which is really the most retarded thing ever. I mean we were 4, we kissed, big deal! But in my head I created it into this big disaster. The funny thing was that Leigh never told anyone, and no one knew about it, but for some reason I had created this whole thing in my head, and basically worried about something that wasn't going to happen. This over reaction that I created in my head ate me alive. I was so sick and my parents couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, all the while I totally knew what was going on, I just never told them.

This was when I realized that worrying made me sick, and being sick meant avoiding what I didn't want to deal with.

This happened again in grade 8 with a boy who liked me to the point where he would sit in class and stare at me for an hour. And this wasn't a 'loving' stare, it was a 'Hi, I'm the biggest creep you ever met' stare. It still creeps me out to this day. This was by far this biggest worried over reaction I have ever lived through. It lasted almost the entire school year, but I will save that story for another time.

The last time I remember this worry/sick situation hitting me big was in 1st year University where my boyfriends parents divorced and it tore me apart. The situations that arose because of it where things I thought you only read in magazines or something, not things that actually happened to you in real life. It was both devastating and traumatic. The only good thing to come out of it was the realization of what I wanted my life/relationships to be like, and what I didn't want them to be like. It was an experience I never want to live through again.

Tho this ridiculousness I have has lessened itself through out the years, it has never completely gone away. Coming from a long list of worriers I don't think I will ever be able to completely get rid of it. I have learned though, that there is no sense in worrying about something you have no control over, and even though it sometimes comes to the point where I do worry myself sick, I can no longer just cop out and stay home from whatever it is I don't want to deal with (even though I would really really like to). Most of the stuff I worry about is just crap I make up in my head and is not based on actual fact. I guess that's where my natural reaction of over reacting comes into play.

And as I sit here now, my stomach grumbles, because there is something its concerned about, but there is nothing I can do, other then ignore it and go on with my day.

colour index

Ok so its been busier all of a sudden. More then I excepted it to be. I've been trying to blog these pictures for 3 days and every time I start I get cut off.

Matt and I went out on Saturday all dressed in red. Not really sure why we did that.


I'm not going to tell you how much his shirt cost. You wouldn't believe me anyways.



Yummmm TASTY.


The we sat at a red/pink table in Metrotown. People must have thought we were crazy.


SO MUCH RED.


I love taking pictures of my ring. Notice much?

After spending way too much money shopping at Metrotown we headed over to a cute little Italian restaurant on Hastings street for some eats.


Chad has this thing where him and I have to visit every Italian restaurant in the lower mainland before we die. So when Matt and I go to a place that Chad and I have never been too Chad always makes a mental note and then insists that the next restaurant we go to is the one I went to with Matt so to trump my eat experience with Matt.

Beef Carpaccio - I've had better, it was a little disappointing, plus it was so little for $10!

Focaccia with 3 spreads - Pesto, Sun dried Tomatoes, & Olives.

Linguine with Smoked Duck Breast, Grand Marnier Cream Sauce, and Sun dried Tomatoes. Doesn't look super good but it was damn tasty!

Matt had the Linguine Carbonara. It smelled like bacon. Ha.

After dinner we watch South Park were I witnessed the episode in which Cartman becomes Dawg the Hall Monitor. So funny I can't even tell you.

The whole time we were there I kept wondering if our waiter thought that Matt was my fiance, and in knowing that the next time we go out to dinner Chad will want to take me there, I wondered if we would have the same waiter and if he would think I was some floosy.

It was the first time I really clued into the fact that having really close guys friends throws the world off course if you hang out with them all the time and people assume they are your husband but they aren't, or people that know you are married see you out with some guy who isn't your husband then they think only negative things about you. It is all very complicated.

Things that seemed so natural in doing before now seem so much more complicated and not natural. It's a very weird transition. Matt said once Chad and I get married he prob. wouldn't come over just to hang out any more because it would be awkward.

I guess in the end you give up something to get something more. It doesn't make sense for me to expect that everything is going to stay the same.

i just bashed my ribs into the counter

This is what I call Chad every day.

I really dont have a point to this post other then the fact that I wanted to post this picture of David Bowie as a heathen.

I went back and read some posts from a year ago. I can basically only read posts dated Jan 2006 and forward cause I hate the posts from 2005. Too much emotion and retarded stuff. Anyways the posts from 2007 are my favoirte. I then realized I never posted any picture from the renovation, so I should prob find some fun ones and do that. A project I will never have time for.

Old posts are fun to read, this is why I post point less crap that no one comments on, because for me, it will be fun to go back and remember. I'm all about the remembering. Sometimes its a good thing, sometimes its a bad things, but none the less I never forget.

I wanted to remember that everyday I call Chad a heathen, because technically he is.

olive oil

Sack.





Everyones back in the office today which means it should be a busy hectic day with everyone trying to catch up from the week they missed. Theres a fit meeting and production going out and me trying to catch up on fabrics.

I just caught my pinky on a staple and it ripped my skin open. I put my finger in my mouth to stop the bleeding and it tastes like dirty metal. Umm gross.

I've got all the wedding invitations printed and am staying late today to cut them all out on our paper cutter at work. Yes, I am crazy enough to be making 160 invitations by hand, with the help of my bridesmaids of course.

I just found out that the fabric I chose for my wedding dress is out of stock, so now I have to go and try and find something that I like that is in stock, which seems to me to be a very dunting task considering there weren't many good ones to choose from in the beginning. This worries me especially if it takes 4 - 6 weeks for the fabric to come in, and then I have to attempt to make it. Heres hoping I find something I like. I am known to be picky.

We've got our Tony Sporano 12 seater Lincon Navigator booked. It's no Hummer but at least Tony Sporano drives a Navigator. I've always wanted to pimp around in one of these things. It should be fun!

Tomorrow night I meet with the florist to see if she can import me some olive branches. If she can she will be my favoritist person in the world. I also need to pick out all my flowers for the floral arraignments. I still haven’t made up my mind if I want 3 feet tall center pieces or little bouquets on the table.

What I really need to do now is actually dedicate some time to finding a decorator and getting ideas about decorations.

But olive branches people, olive branches. I really, really want them. I have a vision, trust me. It needs olive branches.

The oil is what keeps Chad looking so young after all.

199 days to go baby!

"When ever you walk infront of me I stare at your bum"

There is a fire truck with sexy firemen outside my window.

He likes my bum.




I got him this gorilla because it was on sale for $2 and it kinda reminded me of him. Yes, Chad is secretly a hairy black man.


Chads Valentines Day gift to me. You may think that this is a rather lame/cheap gift, BUT it actually means the world. Let me tell you a story...

My body is retarded. I am also not a morning person. With these two things combined I am at my weakest in the morning. I am unable to consume breakfast foods when I get up in the morning without feeling like I'm going to hurl. Therefore, for many years I would skip out on breakfast. Now we all know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so as to appease nutritionists I found the only combination that was quick, gave me some sort of nutrition, and didn't make me hurl; a glass of milk and chocolate chip cookies. This I did for YEARS and it satisfied all those who were concerned. That is, until one Chad Ciavarro discovered my breakfast routine.

This 'Cookie and Milk business' was absolutely 'un acceptable'. It was blasphamy that I would eat such trash for breakfast. He made a very big stink over something I had been doing forever and actually worked for me. He was all about promoting more heathly foods during the breakfast hour and not chocolate chip cookies. This was all fine and good, but I still wanted my chocolate chip cookies and milk for breakfast.

So in knowing his disregard for cookies and milk I assured him that once we were married and share the breakfast hour together I would make the effort to consume a more heathly morning diet. To this he was pleased.

So imagine my surprise when I open my un wrapped Valentines Day gift and see my one true love, The Chocolate Chip Cookie. The man who had been so against them had actually gone out and bought me a pack! I was shocked! I now get to stuff my face with cookies and he can't say anything!!!


Wino Ciavarro. We should name our first son that.

We walked over to Earls for dinner. We sat at the bar at first where I enjoied the most amazing raspberry martini delio. It was so good. I also ran into two people from highschool who worked the bar.

These pictures are so dark. (Stating the obvious)


Chad had 'The Special' Steak, Prawns, (Yes the man who doesn't eat 'things of the sea' actually ate his prawns) Mashed Potats, and String Beans. YUM!

I had Chicken in a white wine cream sauce with Roasted Poatats and String Beans. Also YUM!

Complementary strawberries!

I had gone to Bosa and gotten some of Mario's Gelati that they carry. I can't remember what they are called but they are balls of ice cream with gooy goodness in the middle. OH I think they are called Tartufo. Amazingly good.

Friday night after work we decided to make the works and have a Valentines Day feast part 2. Roast, Roasted Potats with garlic and oregano, and Steakhouse Salad!!! This meal is pretty much our staple.

I could eat these every day. I am most proud of them.




There is NEVER a speck of food left after this meal. I would lick my plate clean if I could.

These are the gingerbread lover boys I bought Chad but really bought for myself because I have a new obsession with gingerbread. I ate them and Chad ate the cinnimon heart eyes. Oh yes, and then this lead into the 'discussion' on how I am retarded because I dont like hot/spicy things and also because I dont like pepper. I will spare you the deatils. It was the stupidest thing ever.



Again, the cookie looks like my bum, with which he is obsessed.

Valentines Day was so cute this year. Tee hee!